Healing From Divorce

How do you know you're healing from your divorce and ready to move on? While out for coffee with my girlfriend, who is a year out from her divorce, we started talking about the "joys" of getting back out there and dating. She and I are both in our mid 40's and according to my Grandma, we are too young to give up on dating

and too old for Mr. Toads wild ride. So how do you know you're ready? I'm going to give you my therapeutic advice. You don't. One day, you'll feel ready to take over the world, meet men or women, and re-live Sex in the City; the next minute, you'll be crying and wondering why your forever didn't work.

However, as a divorcee myself who initiated my divorce, here's what I can say from experience. Healing in any situation is not linear, and you should allow yourself enough time to fall in love with yourself again before diving into relationships where you can get hurt, or hurt someone else. I highly advise getting a good therapist who is your advocate, someone you feel comfortable with and can relate to (as humans), not an expert and patient.

In short, here are a few tips; you're on the right track. Scrolling past their cousin's wedding photos without experiencing a visceral reaction is a big sign you're healing. Bonus points if you don't immediately check to see who they're dating now. You're no longer crafting Instagram captions like a passive-aggressive poet. You're not trying to prove anything. You're just being. That, my friend, is emotional growth. If the thought of being alone doesn't terrify you, and you're not hunting for a rebound to distract yourself, you're in a solid place.

Healing means you're becoming your own safe space again. Healing doesn't mean you're rushing into something new. It means you're becoming excited about what could be, not just avoiding what was. You're not chasing love; you're inviting it.

Here's the truth: healing isn't a perfect process. There's no magical day when the pain evaporates, and you wake up doing yoga full of inner peace with your BFF. But you'll start noticing tiny flashes where you feel whole again—calm, light, free.

And when those moments outweigh the pain? You're ready.